Elfchild's Panda Show

(Happy) New Year

Justin — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 04:30:54 +0000

This was supposed to be a 2-minute update. It… well… went on slightly longer. Happy 2010, peeps. Enjoy!

Direct download link: http://media.libsyn.com/media/theburrow/new_year_2010.mp3

Elfchild’s Panda Show
Update: “(Happy) New Year”

Full duration of episode: 32min:34sec

Music:
“Auld Lang Syne” by Rockosaurus Rex (www.rockosaurusrex.com)

Links:
Official Site (www.hippiemoo.com)
Justin on Twitter (www.twitter.com/justinthemighty)
Daniel on Twitter (www.twitter.com/danielthetrue)
The Show on Twitter (www.twitter.com/pandashow)

Album Art – www.sxc.hu/profile/ilco

Comment and Voicemail Line – 909.742.9268 [909 SHAZBOT]

JJPCHLS One: Ep.1/Pt.3 – Good Hate-Sex is Way Better Than Megan Fox

Justin — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:41:54 +0000

All fantastically beautiful things must eventually come to an end, as is the case with this delightful collaboration with the wise and powerful Jacob. (He commands the unholy power of the Zune!!!) Listen, enjoy, and leave some bloody comments already! :)

Direct download link: http://media.libsyn.com/media/theburrow/JJPCHLSep1pt3.mp3

Jake and Justin’s Primetime Candy and Happy Life Show
“Good Hate-Sex is Way Better Than Megan Fox” (aka Ep.1/Pt.3)

Full duration of episode: 1hr12min:47sec

General Topic Timeline:
0:02:14 – A long, long time ago…
0:06:54 – “I’m one of THOSE people…”
0:08:55 – “Ah yes… my archnemesis!”
0:13:41 – No f*cking way! We’re not ‘tweens!
0:17:40 – Split-second bad English accent moment
0:19:10 – John Travolta. Robin Williams. Dog. ‘Nuff said.
0:22:37 – Interesting, bad, or a combination thereof.
0:23:20 – Nic Cage ruined Justin’s childhood memories.
0:25:18 – There are no “Buy one, Get one” dry vagina sales here…
0:28:37 – Bad Sean Connery impressions for everyone!
0:29:55 – “I’ll split it into pieces. It’ll be ok.”
0:32:28 – That’s just mean.
0:35:29 – It’s not mine. It’s an iTunes rental.
0:38:15 – A moment of silence for our dignity.
0:41:36 – Jake et Justin: Un film français mauvais
0:43:45 – If all else fails…
0:47:00 – Zillafag ice-skating ruins the mystique
0:50:08 – Can I pick all 3?
0:50:40 – Wait… am I f*cking Judi Dench?! Epic win!
0:51:30 – Have sex with or kill? Erotic asphyxiation = compromise.
0:53:50 – Damn you, Rachael Ray!
0:57:27 – Let me Google it!
1:02:30 – Straight up Vaudeville, bitches!
1:05:00 – Parting is such sweet sorrow…
1:06:39 – Filling our awkward silence quota
1:08:05 – Filling our offending the disabled quota
1:08:20 – The End.

Links:
Timur Bekmambetov – www.imdb.com/name/nm0067457/
Pixar – www.pixar.com/
Shutter Island – www.shutterisland.com/
Podscope – www.podscope.com/
Zillafag – www.zillafag.com
Zune – www.zune.net

Special thanks to:
Andrew Potterton (www.myspace.com/dopekick)
Blastwave FX (www.blastwavefx.com/)
Aaron English (www.aaronenglish.com)

And, of course, to my friend Bradley for lending his voice to the little intro. (Thanks again, babe!)

**If anyone has any clue who I can credit for the “Please don’t divorce mommy” bit, please let me know. I can’t recall where I found it.**

Contact/Observe:
Comment and Voicemail Line – 909.742.9268 [909 SHAZBOT]
General Questions or Comments – ipodpanda[at]gmail.com
Justin (Twitter) – twitter.com/justinthemighty
The Show (Twitter) – twitter.com/pandashow

JJPCHLS One: Ep.1/Pt.2 – She’s My Sister Too!

Justin — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 11:09:22 +0000

The geektastic fun continues as Justin and Jacob return for part two of their delightfully clumsy podcast romp. (Romp? Wha? How uncool!) Enjoy the randomosity! (I love fake words.)

Jake and Justin’s Primetime Candy and Happy Life Show
“She’s My Sister Too!” (aka Ep.1/Pt.2)

Full duration of episode: 50min:21sec

General Topic Timeline:
01:51 – And so it continues…
02:25 – Well, it’s rectangular (Geek ALERT!)
15:15 – Browser talk
23:30 – Pr0n + Zune = Ta-da!
23:50 – Rupert Grint’s ice cream truck
26:30 – Alaska’s Mexicans!
26:35 – Ice cream continued
29:55 – Here’s how to order!
32:20 – Ye Olde Dildo Factory and the Pepsi Incident
36:40 – The Eternal Circus
38:20 – The kind of video-on-audio that Zilla loves
39:40 – Movie talk?
48:20 – All for now…

Links:
Opera (www.opera.com)
Firefox (getfirefox.com)
Flock (www.flock.com)
Creative MuVo (us.creative.com)
Apple iPod (store.apple.com/us)
Microsoft Zune (www.zune.com)
Netflix (www.netflix.com)
Ubuntu (www.ubuntu.com)
Rupert Grint (www.rupert-grint.us/)
Billy Mays (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Mays)

Special thanks to:
Lucian Piane (www.revolucian.com)
Andrew Potterton (www.myspace.com/dopekick)
Blastwave FX (www.blastwavefx.com/)

And, of course, to my friend Bradley for lending his voice to the little intro. (Thanks again!)

JJPCHLS One: Ep.1/Pt.1 – Vehicular Manslaughter Is Always A Giveaway

Justin — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 07:59:01 +0000

Justin’s friend Jacob joins him for this multi-part recording that is half funny and half tragically flawed. (Love us?) Oh yeah, “multi-part” is code for “the dorks kept talking and had to hack the show into separate pieces.” Enjoy!

Full duration of episode: 1hr:03min:54sec

General Topic Timeline:
04:47 – And so it begins…
06:50 – Half-Blood Prince movie
15:05 – What’s JKR up to?
19:03 – Pancakes!
28:58 – “Tragically horrible.”
30:09 – Warped Tour 2009
31:49 – A Modern Candy Bar
32:35 – Back to Warped Tour
35:16 – “You want some sandwiches?”
38:57 – “I kissed a girl and I got…”
40:27 – Spinach* and tomatoes
44:10 – Food Pyramid
47:21 – Steve Ballmer/Windows 7/Apple rant

1:00:50 – Heading out for now…

*It’s Stouffer’s, not Russell Stover. (Me sowwy. No idea what I was smoking.)

Links:
IMAX Theatres (www.imax.com)
Guillermo Del Toro (www.imdb.com/name/nm0868219/)
Pancakes (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pancake)
Hungry Hungry Hippos (www.hasbro.com)

“We’ll do it live!” (www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tJjNVVwRCY)
“We’ll do it live! [The Remix!]” (www.youtube.com/watch?v=5j2YDq6FkVE)

Wendy’s (www.wendys.com)
Stouffer’s (www.stouffers.com)
Food Pyramid/USDA (mypyramid.gov)
Microsoft (www.microsoft.com)
European Union (www.eurunion.org/eu/)
Apple (www.apple.com)
Micro Center (www.microcenter.com)

Music:
“Old Dun Cow” by Brobdingnagian Bards (www.thebards.net)

Special thanks to:
Andrew Potterton (www.myspace.com/dopekick)
Blastwave FX (www.blastwavefx.com/)

And, of course, to my friend Bradley for lending his voice to the little intro. (Thanks again!)

Contact/Observe:
General Questions or Comments – ipodpanda@gmail
Justin (Twitter) – twitter.com/justinthemighty
The Show (Twitter) – twitter.com/pandashow

Ep. 7 – Skittle Flavored Joy Juice

Justin — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 06:00:44 +0000

Notes:
*The poop machine and his successors
*A very gay, very musical episode
*Daniel’s mum and Girls Gone Wild?
*The Day The Earth Stood Still / Coraline / Watchmen
*No one got plastered on Xmas, but it was still nice
*Good ol’ party plates
*TWO Tips of the Day!
*Our mystery Zune listener is…
*Loading up on Boone’s Farm
*Justin practices his Cameron Bright death stare
*Vermont/Iowa legalize it, bitches!
*Justin’s saucy mistress
*Shower sex = awkward, good times
*What we’re looking forward to
*…and other stuff we’re too lazy to add here.

Completely Random Learning Moment of the Day:
Illusions – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvVfcyVCdNA

———————————-
Special thanks to Jacob for putting me (Justin) in a happy enough mood to record this mess.
———————————-

Stuff/People We Mentioned:
Marilyn Manson – http://www.marilynmanson.com
No Doubt – http://www.nodoubt.com
Bill Nye – http://www.billnye.com
Leo Laporte – http://leoville.com
Jonathan Coulton – http://www.jonathancoulton.com
Shirley Bassey – http://www.dameshirleybassey.com
Lambchop – http://www.lambchop.tv/
eBay – http://www.ebay.com
Revision3 – http://www.revision3.com
Dvorak – http://dvorak.org/blog
Stephen King – http://www.stephenking.com
Dean Koontz – http://www.deankoontz.com
Hetty Wainthropp Investigates – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0127376/

The Movies Mentioned:
The Day The Earth Stood Still – http://www.thedaytheearthstoodstillmovie.com
Coraline – http://www.coraline.com
Watchmen – http://watchmenmovie.warnerbros.com
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – http://www.harrypotter.com
Where The Wild Things Are – http://wherethewildthingsare.warnerbros.com/
Star Trek – http://www.startrekmovie.com

Our Links:
Elfchild’s Panda Show @ Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/pandashow)
Justin @ Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/justinthemighty)
Daniel @ Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/danielthetrue)
The Show @ Twitter (http://www.twitter.com/pandashow)
Justin’s Other Gig (http://show.justinthemighty.com)
Youtube (http://www.youtube.com/pandapodcast)
Flickr (http://www.flickr.com/photos/9850252@N04)

Music:
Theme – “Dingos Grooved My Baby” by flopsy
Break – “Linda Linda” by The Blue Hearts
Ending – “Still Alive” by Jonathan Coulton

(And the little bit during Adam’s piece was taken from a karaoke version of “Heart-Shaped Glasses” by Marilyn Manson.)

Ep. 6 – Der Politekturduckenshowzen

Justin — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:00:32 +0000

Notes:
*Slowest progression ever!
*Woefully behind the times? Never!
*Unhealthy fascination with Adam’s crotch
*CNN: Technopimps Extraordinaire
*Is that you, Boomsheeka?
*We promise to read hate mail.
*We welcome Lady Liberty’s copper tits.
*Stroking the Colossus
*Bienvenidos a Sabado Gigante!!!
*Permanently scarred by Graham Norton’s Belgian Chocolate
*Delicious radiator omelette recipe
*Have you pre-ordered “Nailin’ Palin” yet?
*One word: Taint
*Beefalo?
*Kirstie’s ovaries and the immensely popular mooseknuckle
*Completely Random Learning Moment of the Day
*Suck it, England! Where’s your Billy Mays?!
*”It all leads back to Daniel’s drunken mom.”
*Himalayan Whistle Kid Sweatshop Plantation

Mentioned:
Science Moment of the Day (www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FqLCLooayM)
Michio Kaku (www.mkaku.org)
Congressman Dennis J. Kucinich (kucinich.us)
Univision (www.univision.com)
Telemundo (tv.telemundo.yahoo.com)
Yo Gabba Gabba (www.yogabbagabba.com)
Jonathan Coulton (www.jonathancoulton.com)
G4 (www.g4tv.com)
Miss Carolina Clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww)
Cillit Bang (www.cillitbang.co.uk)
Billy Mays Wiki (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Mays)
Twitter (www.twitter.com)
TWiT (www.twit.tv)
Leo Laporte (www.leoville.com)
CNN (www.cnn.com)

Our Links:
Libsyn Blog (theburrow.libsyn.com)
Elfchild’s Panda Show @ Myspace (www.myspace.com/pandashow)
Justin @ Twitter (www.twitter.com/justinthemighty)
Daniel @ Twitter (www.twitter.com/danielthetrue)

Music:
“Oh Canada” by Danny Fong (www.mevio.com/music/?artist_id=864)
“Mr Fancypants” by Jonathan Coulton (www.jonathancoulton.com)
“Smooth Sexy Monkey” by Sausage Boy (sausageboy.songhole.org)

Special thanks to Andrew Potterton and Blastwave FX @ Soundsnap (www.soundsnap.com)

Ep. 5 – Our Podcast is a Horcrux

Justin — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 05:00:25 +0000

*Justin’s paper is extra magical
*The first 70% is always pointless
*Suck it, Hillary… and other things WE missed
*Magic Erase your tension
*Margaritas + Hulk = a decent time for all
*Sell everything to Viacom to avoid confrontation
*Coke binges lead to handheld gaming
*Stealing cheese and killing hookers
*Dani’s kidneys are soft and supple
*Going straight
*Domestic abuse has never been more loving
*Apple’s vending robot
*LOGO (and the suckage within)
*A list written in shit?
*Fake psychics welcome
*Spray-on glitter connections
*Hi, Gale!
*We don’t condone shoving things in your asshole
*”Can you make an anal bottle rocket?”
*Pre-post-show recap time!

Info:
Email – ipodpanda (at) gmail.com
Libsyn Blog – theburrow.libsyn.com
Twitter (Justin) – www.twitter.com/justinthemighty
Myspace – www.myspace.com/pandashow
Youtube – www.youtube.com/pandapodcast
Flickr – www.flickr.com/photos/9850252@N04

Podcasts Mentioned Within:
DTWF Podcast – www.dtwfpodcast.com
Feast of Fools – www.feastoffools.net
Distorted View Daily – www.distortedview.com
This Week in Tech – www.twit.tv
Zillacast – www.zillafag.com

Lots of Links (So watch where you click!):
Mr Clean – www.mrclean.com
Movie Tavern – www.movietavern.com
Sony PSP – www.us.playstation.com/PSP
Mister Bill – www.mrbill.com
Blinky Bill – www.imdb.com/title/tt0103837
David the Gnome – www.imdb.com/title/tt0283721
Ratatouille – disney.go.com/disneypictures/ratatouille
GTA: Liberty City Stories – www.rockstargames.com/libertycitystories
The Leaky Cauldron – www.leakynews.com
Coke Blak (France) – www.coca-colablak.fr
TAPS – www.the-atlantic-paranormal-society.com
Swarovski – www.swarovski.com
Mister Potato Head (Hasbro) – www.hasbro.com/playskool/mrpotatohead
Mythbusters – dsc.discovery.com/fansites/mythbusters/mythbusters.html
Hitler Reacts to HBP Delay – www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXnt8_okeRA
LOGO – www.logoonline.com
Weezer – www.weezer.com
Adult Swim – www.adultswim.com
ABC Underwear – www.abcunderwear.com
Johnny Dangerous – www.johnnydangerous.net
Amazon – www.amazon.com
Bearforce1 – www.bearforce1.nl
Fiona Apple – www.fiona-apple.com
The Fighting Cocks – www.myspace.com/thefightingcocks
Marilyn Manson – www.marilynmanson.com
Dippin’ Dots – www.dippindots.com
Barack Obama – www.barackobama.com

Music:
Opening Skit – “Jinx! You’re Gay!” by Smart Bomb Radio
Theme Song – “Dingos Grooved My Baby” by flopsy
Ending Song – “No Candy” by The Fighting Cocks

Ep. 4 – Mikey Is In The Building

Justin — Wed, 23 May 2007 06:00:16 +0000

On today’s show, Mikey invades the show and Dani’s presence is minimal. Justin and Mikey’s intro goes waaaay too long and turns into the podcast itself. Admitting defeat, the two hyper dorks decide to call Dani and have a chat. Lovely summary, eh?

Learn all about…

* Kentucky: Still humping goats?
* Angering Taco Bell
* Angering Barbara Walters
* “The Hologrid”
* Mikey’s math skills
* Phones that can sing!
* Silly, dandy flamers
* Brief Potterness
* Allergies and obnoxiousness
* A modern major general?

Music:
“Relief” by Chris Garneau
“Dingos Grooved My Baby” by Flopsy

Links:
Feast of Fools – http://www.feastoffools.net
Amanda Steinstein – http://www.myspace.com/amandasteinstein
Harry Potter 5 – http://www.harrypotterorderofthephoenix.com
Chris Garneau – http://www.chrisgarneau.com
Barbara Walters – http://abc.go.com/theview/hosts/walters.html
Taco Bell – http://www.tacobell.com
ABC – http://abc.go.com
Dora the Explorer – http://www.nickjr.com
Sabado Gigante – http://www.univision.com/
The Pirate Movie – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084504/
Jackie – http://www.myspace.com/thejacexo

Panda-Related Links:
Our Libsyn Blog – http://theburrow.libsyn.com
Panda Show on Myspace – http://www.myspace.com/pandashow

Ep. 3 (Pt. 2) – Low Heels for Ho Heels

Justin — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 06:00:09 +0000

Happy Birthday, Justin! [Er... on August 4th, that is.] As you probably know, this is still episode 3. But this time, it’s part 2. Isn’t that magical? Part two, of course, means there’s a part one. If you haven’t listened to part one, then go do so… right now! Part two is totally bogus without part one. It’s just mental. And I apologize for the little background sound, but my doofus boyfriend wouldn’t turn off his fan and radio before recording. RAWR!

*Thank you, Zillafag!
*Mongolian Cluster Fuck, anyone?
*Props to Joseph, Oregon!
*Tacos for Jesus?
*Dani and I aren’t Paris Hilton.
*Yosemite Sam mudflaps are sooooo 2005.
*Dani says Chinese people will eat your pets.
*Another fine “Burning In Hell” segment is upon us (for real this time).
*Justin explains why Starbucks lady is not burning in hell.
*We save sinners, unlike those blasphemous Mormons!
*Book Recommendations (oh, dear)!
*Justin’s a shill for the advertising industry.
*The Panda Show is the Hindenburg of podcasting!
*The rain in Ohio falls mainly in the blimp hangar.
*Justin’s not a slut. Dani, on the other hand…
*Justin’s clumsy with the ladies and loves his Magic Shell.
*”I voted for the tree.”

Music (in order of use):
Black Adam – Monkey Symphony
Flopsy – Dingos Grooved My Baby**
The Predicates – Gay Boyfriend
Hiroshi – Ghost Story

**our theme song, heard in every episode

Links:
Zillafag / Zillacast – http://www.zillafag.com
Find Your Spot – http://www.findyourspot.com
Drink ‘Til We’re Funny – http://www.dtwfpodcast.com
Tower of the Americas – http://toweroftheamericas.com/
Starbucks – http://www.starbucks.com
Subway Restaurant – http://www.subway.com
Amazon – http://www.amazon.com
Jim Grimsley – http://literati.net/Grimsley/
Mark A. Roeder – http://www.markroeder.com/
David Levithan – http://www.davidlevithan.com/
R. A. Salvatore – http://www.rasalvatore.com/
Garth Nix – http://www.garthnix.co.uk/
Naomi Novik – http://www.temeraire.org/
Holes / Louis Sachar – http://www.louissachar.com/
Borders Bookstore – http://www.bordersstores.com/
YouTube – http://www.youtube.com
Family Guy – http://www.familyguy.com/
This Week In Tech – http://www.twit.tv/
Twix – http://www.twix.com
Podsafe Music Network – http://music.podshow.com
WBNS FM – http://www.wbnsfm.com
Pottercast – http://www.pottercast.com
Mugglecast – http://www.mugglecast.com
JAPodcast – http://japodcast.libsyn.com
Distorted View – http://www.distortedview.com
Feast of Fools – http://www.feastoffools.net

Suicide Prevention:
The Trevor Project Site – http://www.thetrevorproject.org
The Trevor Project Hotline – 866.488.7386 [Toll Free]
The Gay & Lesbian National Help Center Site – http://www.glnh.org
The Gay & Lesbian National Hotline – 1.888.843.4564 [Toll Free]

Our Frappr Map – http://www.frappr.com/thepandashow

Panda Show Feedback/Contact – ipodpanda (at) gmail.com

Ep. 3 (Pt. 1) – Save This for the Chupacabra

Justin — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 06:00:59 +0000

In this episode, Dani gets the Columbine Disassociative Award, Justin apologizes (*gasp*) to Kentucky, and Error Robot Voice drops by for a few words. All that, and…

*Justin proclaims “We’re a family show!”
*We discuss Dani’s potential nudity.
*Goat-humper cocktail, anyone?
*Another fine “Burning In Hell” segment is upon us.
*”We roll Monty Python style.”
*We explain why the Panda Show isn’t so regular.
*Does Justin drown babies?
*Song Recommendations + Indigo Lezzies!
*Random Name Shoutout!
*The Grandfather Paradox!
*Using Cher as an anti-Mafia device?
*Dani’s straight up GANGSTA, yo!
*Hannah, do lezzies like rectal probes?
*Anniversary Schmanniversary!
*Did you hear about Jim Henson’s long-lost muppet, Hitler?
*Pimp My Wonderwagon!
*Please don’t hurt Justin, gay mafia.
*Hungry immigrants will soon eat our children!
*Satan says visit Hippiemoo.com!

Music (in order of use):
Mario Ajero – Canon in D Major (Pachelbel)
Flopsy – Dingos Grooved My Baby**
Alan Shikoh – It Was A Nightmare
Jinx Titanic – Homo Go Home
Doug Boldt – Deck the Halls

**our theme song, heard in every episode

Links:
Bill Nye – http://www.billnye.com
Anthony Hugh – http://www.anthonyhugh.com/
Carrie Lydon – http://www.myspace.com/carrielydon
Podsafe Music Network – http://music.podshow.com
Indigo Girls – http://www.indigogirls.com
Smucker’s (Home of Magic Shell) – http://www.smuckers.com
Jinx Titanic – http://www.jinxtitanic.com
Carl Sagan Interview – http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/time/sagan.html
Logitech (Creator of Webcams) – http://www.logitech.com

Our Frappr Map – http://www.frappr.com/thepandashow

Panda Show Feedback/Contact – ipodpanda (at) gmail.com